HOW WE HELPED BILL GATES

Aussie bush lore was important in creating computer jargon.

It’s not widely known that when Bill Gates was developing computer terminology he relied heavily on old Aussie bush lore, but here’s solid proof.

Log on – make the campfire hotter
Log Off – the fire is too hot
Monitor – watching the fire
Download – get the firewood off the 4WD
Hard drive – trip back home without any cold tinnies
Keyboard – where you hang the 4WD and bike keys
Windows – what you shut when it’s cold
Crash – what you’d like to avoid
No connection – tow rope broke
Wireless – busted winch cable
Screen – what you shut in the mosquito season
Blue screen – what you see at the top of a dune
Byte – what mosquitoes do
Bit – what mosquitoes did
Mega Byte – what Cape York mosquitoes do
Chips – what you eat with beer
Micro Chips – what’s left on your face after you’ve eaten the chips
Modem – what you did to the weeds
Laptop – where the cat sleeps
Software – plastic knives and forks you get at roadhouses
Hardware – steel knives and forks
Mouse – what eats the grain in the shed
Mouse mat – the mat the mouse ate
Mainframe – what holds the shed up
Web – what spiders make
Web site – spiders’ haunts
Cursor – bogged off-roader
Search engine – what you do when the 4WD won’t go
Yahoo – what you say when the 4WD does go
Upgrade – a steep hill
Server – the person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch
Mail server – the bloke at the pub that brings out the counter lunch
Users – 4WD owners who keep borrowing things
Network – when you have to repair your fishing net
Internet – cross-woven fish net repair method
Netscape – when a fish manoeuvres out of reach of the net
On line – when the washing’s hung out
Off line – when the washing falls in the dirt

Got any more?